Keith and I have been married for a little over a year and there is so much to learn, but I’ve found that these three things really keep us grounded as a couple. We have an amazing support system from our family and friends that uplift us and encourage us to be a better wife and husband. I hope this does the same.
Think of Your Spouse Before Yourself
Single life was all about me. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and I didn’t need to communicate with anyone. It’s a time where you get to be a little selfish. Being married throws that all out the window. There is no room for selfishness because now I have someone other than myself to take care of.
This was actually super easy for me because I’m not a selfish person to begin with and Keith literally has no selfish bone in his body, he thinks of everyone before himself. It’s one of the reasons I love him so much.
I try my best to think of Keith’s needs before my own and he does the same for me. We do this because it’s important to let each other know we genuinely care about the other. This is honestly the BEST way to let the other know how much you care because it shows that your constantly thinking about them.
We are still individuals, but together we are a dynamic duo. When we said our “I do’s” that meant a promise to take care of each other and if we both think of the other first, we will always be taken care of.
Take Time to Have Conversations Everyday
In my monthly work meeting, the president of the company was talking about relationships and how they are formed. She mentioned having conversations is how you get to know someone and eventually build a relationship. Obviously this is a no brainer, but then she went on about how to maintain those relatiosnhips. Im sure you already know what it is and yes you’re right! CONVERSATIONS!
That’s how Keith and I first started dating and now that we are married, it’s how we maintain our relationship. It is so easy to grow apart and not communicating can make things that much more difficult.
For Keith and I, we have to work alot harder at this because we work completely different work schedules. I communicate with him by telling him what I did that day via text message or video. I’ll send him a photo of something I think will make him laugh. I’ll leave little posted notes in the kitchen giving him reasons why I love him and occasionally he’ll get a not so PG message, if you know what I mean.
Thank goodness for technology because without it we would struggle in this department. No matter the current situation, you gotta do what you gotta do and take the time each day to have a meaningful conversation. This is KEY!
Get to Know Your Spouse’s Love Language
This was probably the first marriage tip we got as a couple. We read a book about the five different love languages and discovered what our own individual love language is. My first love language is quality time and Keith’s is acts of service.
His favorite acts of service from me is cooking, which is extremely hard for me because I don’t love to cook and I’m not the greatest. I am working at it and trying my best, but sometimes it just ends in an epic fail. Even if it isn’t the best, he’ll still eat it and grab seconds. What a husband right?!
For me, I like to go out and try something new and experience it with him. I never want to make him do anything that he truly doesn’t want to do, but he knows by going to a yoga class with me will literally make me the happiest.
By knowing each others love language, we know EXACTLY what makes the other happy. There is never any guessing or confusion about what he or I can do better because we know what it takes to put that frown, upside down.
We aren’t perfect and we will never be. Marriage can be messy, but we choose each other everyday. We choose to love one another and we work hard to provide for the other. We know that if we continue to seek God and allow Him to work in the center of our marriage, we are going to be just fine.
till next time,